Song at the moment: ITZY’s Imaginary Friend
And here I am, typing away on a Saturday evening. My blog posts are few and far in between, I truly apologise for that. I haven’t been in the mood to write as I was either busy with work or busy with life.
Bike life
I recently went on a motorbike trip to Thailand with three friends from SGNC7 group – Malex, Hakim and Jiasen. It was Hakim and Jiasen’s first time to Thailand, so it was interesting to see how they reacted to this entire trip. Alhamdulillah, it was fine overall. Malex was saying that the trip went too smoothly, in comparison to the trip that we (Malex and I) went together back in May/June 2024. I really should go to Thailand more often, especially to Betong. The view there is spectacular. I also want to pack a trip to Terengganu again, but just not this year end due to the monsoon season.
Work Stuff
On the work front, I hit multiple roadblocks with regards to actually starting to do work. I painfully realised that skirting around the issue of writing was doing me a disfavour because the work that I needed to do 80% of the time was actually writing. I had to sit my butt down and really write – and no amount of procrastinating or Pair Intern (Whole of Govt’s version of ChatGPT) could save me. I had a heart-to-heart talk with one of my colleagues, who rightfully pointed out that I was more of an ops person. But that didn’t mean that this current job was not for me – it just meant that I had to work doubly hard on writing because it is the bread and butter of my job.
Not all is lost, however, because I made some changes to my life (see below). When I started the job, I wasn’t actually in the best frame of mind. Perhaps it was the imposter syndrome going on – why did my current company hire me, do I deserve to be here, and so on and so forth. There’s a lot of self-doubt, which I was experiencing ever since I started. As at writing, I am on Week 22.
Self Care and Personal Life
Thankfully, I decided to take a bit more action on caring for myself, cutting a few things out of my life and focusing on the things that truly matter. I made the (painful) choice of subscribing to a gym class membership (BFT). The first three weeks was brutal – getting up at 5.40am to get to a 6.15am class on weekdays. I refuse to weigh myself but I’m sure there are positive changes to myself – physically and mentally. It was quite interesting to really get to know more people too in the class, like Jaden, Ruth and surprisingly Hakim (yes the same Hakim who went to Thailand). I also got to spend more time with my uni senior Afi. Overall, it’s just strengthening existing friendships in a good way.
My personal life (other than motorbike) is rather peaceful. I’m quite thankful for that – no drama. Managed to spend more time with my mother on either day trips or just around Singapore. Though, one thing that has been on my mind is to make sure that the house is physically in a good state and elderly-proofed. There’s a lot of things I do want to get like a monitoring system so that my mother doesn’t do too many physically demanding things when I’m not around… I also spend more time with my siblings as well as my brothers-in-law, thankfully. Great that I can connect with Abg Aril about his work in ISEAS (and to a certain extent, about my current work too) and also with Abg Din on motorbikes. Quite thankful that they are family now and are reliable family figures I can depend on.
On the love front… well, after that Thailand trip, I decided to try being on dating apps again. It was quite interesting to hear Malex and Hakim’s stories haha. But this time, I don’t plan on making dating the centre of my life. I realised that meeting in person is still the best way to understand someone (platonic and romantic). No amount of texting can do that. Hopefully I can pick up some good conversations from the apps and/or just meet in person. I have a lot to learn about myself on the dating front and again, no amount of running away is going to help. One thing’s for sure – it’s alright if I don’t meet my partner in this life. 🙂
